Another little tale from my recent cross-country train trip home.
Well—this sort of thing doesn't happen every day. . .
When I was a child, my mother and I would go every Saturday to a newsstand in a neighborhood close to ours. Some of you may not know or remember the phenomenon that was a true newsstand. That's where you went for local and national newspapers, all your magazines, tobacco, the candy counter, little toys and games and, my only cares as it related to that time period, weekly comics and Topps baseball/football/hockey trading cards.
So, every week we would get in the car and go and I would comb the comic racks for the newest Richie Rich or Archie comics. Then at the counter, whatever sports season it was, I got a couple of packs of the trading cards. In later years I branched out into a few superhero comics and the assorted horror comics too.
Those Saturday morning runs, followed by the endless hours reading and flipping cards with friends over the weekend, they remain such bright spots in my memories.
The second day I was home on my recent trip, my mother said "You know that newsstand we used to go to? It's still there."
Wait, what? A newsstand still running in this day and age?
And she told me it was still owned by the same man who we'd see there each week almost 40 years ago.
"OK, sooooo why are we still sitting here talking?"
Within minutes we were on our way.
Now, the entire area looks so different. So much so that I hardly remembered it at all. We drove down the street slowly and exchanged comments like:
"Oh that's where the old deli used to be"
"Remember the little theater that was there?"
"I think that used to be Rupp's Hockey store."
"Remember the old lady with the librarian glasses and too much perfume that hugged you every time I took you in that clothing store?"
Oh do I. . .I smelled like that gardenia perfume all day Saturday back then.
The old store facades are gone, re-plastered to make them more "modern" — but that must have been in the 90's because they look rather dated now. lol
We found a place to park out front and walked in.
(Enter the sound of the Dr Who tardis here)
Inside, it is the same place. I immediately recognized the man behind the counter and he, in turn, recognized my mother and then, me as well. I was distracted. Something was pulling at me, asking to be noticed but, before I could focus on what it might be, the man spoke
"You were this tall last time I saw you!" he said, holding his hand halfway up his chest.
We laughed and I said we'd come to revel a bit in those old days. Did he have any comics? Or baseball cards?
"Sure sure" right where they always were. Do you remember?"
Of course I did.
I found my way thru the mass of toys hanging from the ceiling and past the assorted t-shirts and racks of cards and books. There! Just as he said. I walked up to the comic racks and I immediately knew what it was that was pulling at me. just a few minutes earlier.
Everything in the store. Save for the daily local paper and the Times, was old — sorry, vintage.
The comics were from the same era of my childhood. Not some of them. ALL of them. Maybe a few Buffy's from the 90's or Transformers form the early oughts. I felt a little dizzy. Could this be? I took my time and went thru them thoroughly, selected a few and then I walked back up to the counter where the Topps sports cards had always been. There were packs of cards, Baseball, football and hockey, just as always, but they too were vintage! Unopened and intact. 25 to 30 year old pink bubblegum slabs still inside them. I quickly dated them by the notices on the pack like, Win a Trip to see your team at Spring Training 1987. Complete details inside.
Whoa! What?
Everything was the same. The shoppe is a jumble of toys, games, little gifts, sports memorabilia and the assorted magazines comics and miscellaneous. My mother said even the regular magazines were from years past.
Now, I am assuming the candy and snacks were not so old but. . . .
I grabbed a handful of comics and cards and went to the counter. I think I was still trying to process it.
"I can't believe you have these." I said, pushing the stack of cards across the counter.
"Takes you back huh?"
"I'll say. I am so glad we came up here today."
"Me too. Always good to see folks from the old neighborhood. Not many of us left these days"
We spoke of the changes and laughed about small details lost to time. He told us that he'd just signed another one year lease so he'll be there if I go home again next year.
We drove home and I opened some of the cards and saved some for my old childhood friend who still lives near my mother. That night I leafed thru the comics and tried to imagine what the odds were that any store would have such items after so many years.
I also wondered if anyone else appreciated the absolute magic of that shoppe. The portal it presents to another time and place. I half expected to walk out the door and be back in the 80's!
I couldn't have dreamed up a more fitting experience to have on this trip. Much of the time spent home is invested in nostalgia and requires memories and imagination. THIS was like an immersive experience and one I am sure that I will carry for some time to come.
Showing posts with label personal myth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal myth. Show all posts
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
The Chronicle of Secret Riven
"On the nights when she wasn't too tired, she studied folklore and tales written in languages she could now read fluently. She welcomed the return of old, almost forgotten enchantment. She discovered again the promise of wonder . . . no matter what good and evil was involved."
from "The Chronicle of Secret Riven" by Ronlyn Domingue
I have been engrossed in this book the last few weeks. This is the second volume in the "Mapmaker's War" trilogy by this author. If you have not heard of or read these books, i highly recommend them. While considered a trilogy, it is not necessary to read the Mapmaker's War first. They are so different that one might read both and not realize they are connected in any way. The Mapmaker's War takes place in a distant past from The Chronicle of Secret Riven and there are only slight allusions to the first book's story in Secret Riven.
What the Chronicle of Secret Riven IS, however, is a slow and gentle unfolding of a young girl's life story. . . truly a chronicle in form and verse. . . beautifully told and meandering through mysticism and fantasy. . . heartbreaking and reassuring all at once.
The paragraph above is one of the touchstones of the book for me. A girl who is born to enchantment and magic but tries to ignore it and move to the "grown up" world of expectation and "normalcy" is reminded, again and again, that her path is not the same as others. That she is fated to something few will understand and fewer will share.
What I often take from books like this is a reassurance that the stories we tell about ourselves are, ultimately, what decide the degree of happiness we will experience in our lives.
What we carry forward, repeat and reshape. . . even re-create is OUR reality. I have reinvented my life many times. Changed locations, name, career and, ultimately this all led me back to the origins of my own mystic beginnings and experiences.
No matter the shadows or the light, it is a choice. . .. every day a new chapter and what carries forward with us is, ultimately, a result of our own authorship.
I read books like this to remember. . and to return. . . to my own origins.
To do otherwise would be to turn my back on what simply is, and always has been, my reality.
nicolas
from "The Chronicle of Secret Riven" by Ronlyn Domingue
I have been engrossed in this book the last few weeks. This is the second volume in the "Mapmaker's War" trilogy by this author. If you have not heard of or read these books, i highly recommend them. While considered a trilogy, it is not necessary to read the Mapmaker's War first. They are so different that one might read both and not realize they are connected in any way. The Mapmaker's War takes place in a distant past from The Chronicle of Secret Riven and there are only slight allusions to the first book's story in Secret Riven.
What the Chronicle of Secret Riven IS, however, is a slow and gentle unfolding of a young girl's life story. . . truly a chronicle in form and verse. . . beautifully told and meandering through mysticism and fantasy. . . heartbreaking and reassuring all at once.
The paragraph above is one of the touchstones of the book for me. A girl who is born to enchantment and magic but tries to ignore it and move to the "grown up" world of expectation and "normalcy" is reminded, again and again, that her path is not the same as others. That she is fated to something few will understand and fewer will share.
What I often take from books like this is a reassurance that the stories we tell about ourselves are, ultimately, what decide the degree of happiness we will experience in our lives.
What we carry forward, repeat and reshape. . . even re-create is OUR reality. I have reinvented my life many times. Changed locations, name, career and, ultimately this all led me back to the origins of my own mystic beginnings and experiences.
No matter the shadows or the light, it is a choice. . .. every day a new chapter and what carries forward with us is, ultimately, a result of our own authorship.
I read books like this to remember. . and to return. . . to my own origins.
To do otherwise would be to turn my back on what simply is, and always has been, my reality.
nicolas
Sunday, July 6, 2014
A Month of Gathering
Back in 2004, a few years before he died, my father and I spoke often about life. We were never close when I was a child as he and my mum divorced when I was four. This was, for all intents and purposes, a very good thing for her AND I. He was very stodgy, quite mainstream in a narrow and limiting way and he had little room for self expression and the roads less traveled in life.
I cannot imagine who I would have turned out to be if he were a directive force in my developing years. . . but people change.
We reconnected when my grandmother, his mother, died when I was 19. Slowly, we built the strands of connection after he accepted my plea that, "I don't need you to be dad anymore. . I need a friend."
And a very good friend he turned out to be.
So that day, as I recounted all that was going on in my life, how I was pursuing my love of music-making and music production for others. How I was thriving owning a coffeehouse and creating digital art and poetry. (this is all about 5 years before my creative life as you see it now even began)
He listened quietly and patiently and then, when I had finished, he offered the following.
"Son, I've never told you this but I wish I had lived (he was 61 at the time) my life more like you. I would do it differently now but back then I always was so concerned with climbing the ladder of success and making more money and having better this and better that. There are so many things I thought to do but did not have the courage or the inner strength to try. And I see you, living your life this way and your voice is filled with joy and I feel every new experience brings you closer to something bigger. Maybe even closer to a sense of "purpose"? "
"But I am going to give you one piece of advice" he continued. "From here, the choices in your life will get tougher because you are still seeking and yet you have managed to eliminate all of the things people usually fill their lives with that are less than fulfilling. You love your job. You love where you live and you love the people around you. You have several creative outlets that take up every moment of your free time. . . and I know you, my son. You are going to keep finding things that you love and now? Now the choices are going to be between two or more things you love and where will they fit in when the days will always only be 24hrs long? And you don't do anything half assed. . . so where is the time going to come from and when those new "right things" present themselves? Because one of them may be "it". So remember that you'll have to make room for them. And that it is ok to let go of something you love as much as something you don't.
Oh, how right he was.
So the last 6 months as I've "struggled" with the lack of time that being a full time, all the time, maker-of-things requires and found myself overloaded with custom orders and requests as all the while the new ideas pile up and up and I cannot tend to them, And then, beneathe it all, this "new thing". . . this sense of something greater being right there all along. . . oh yes, it reared it's head and asked to be heard.
I once again took stock.
Made lists and looked deep within for the answer to what stays and what goes. . .
And here is what has changed from that kid who got that piece of advice 10 years ago.
The "new thing" is that I DO feel a sense of purpose in what I do now. It's the one thing I have done in my life (and I have done and tried more than my share) that feels really close to perfect and complete as far as being part of the thread I have known since childhood.
But these days I feel pulled to leave something behind. Something more than just bits and pieces and assorted lovelies. . . though those are as much a part of the "purpose" as what I have planned
My father was right,
I do not do anything half-assed. I don't know how. The details are everything and no matter how much I love something I make, I find myself looking to make it better and just a bit more innovative next time around. Good enough is never good enough even if I am the only one who sees it.
In truth, when people ask me for advice on making it with an online shop or with creative self employment, I usually include this one little piece of advice. What ever you do today, you can do better tomorrow and you have to want that, without fail, first and foremost or you'll not get far in the creative world.
First, you have to make room for it. . . and it requires lots of room.
Then, YOU have to
Grow
Change
Innovate
Reinvent
and
REACH
It's time now for me to reach. . .
I am setting a larger goal with the worlds I create.
They have been these lovely bits and pieces with little stories (also a must in the creative world I think. . tell a story!) that often are there before the pieces themselves.
But I want to bring them together and give something more through them.
A larger story that ties many of the smaller pieces together.
A world that is tangible and ever growing.
In my head, they always were this but, if I have one shortfall, it's that I often do not have the patience to write in such broad scope AND detail. I offer little detailed glimpses when an entire world is right there waiting to be brought to life.
And that world is what I want to leave behind. . .hopefully to inspire others as I have ben inspired by those that came before.
So this is what I have been doing the last month. Losing myself in reading about ancient civilizations, myths and stories I have loved my whole life and making notes, creating names, filling in gaps in my own stories and letting that world emerge. . . one village, one character, one myth at a time and, as is my way, the details sometimes come out first.
These are a couple of Elvin "reliquaries" I created this week that are just 1.5 and 2.75 inches tall. . . . perhaps containing mythic dragon scales or bits of ancient magic cloth, or a troll's tooth. . . or a thread of pure spun gold from time before time? Who can say?
What would YOU imagine to be found within an Elvin Reliquary?
More on their story in future posts. . .
Which is where the blog fits in with my future plans.
So many bits and pieces to keep track of and I am not an organized person by any means. So I will be posting more often and shorter posts with just that. . . bits and pieces of the larger story. . . threads that are all being woven into the larger world of my imagination. . . into the world of Bewilder and Pine. . . I hope you'll come along with me on this journey. It's going to be an adventure, I promise! :)
And my father, on that day I referred to earlier, added one more thing at the very end of the conversation that I took to heart then and still do to this day.
"No matter how busy you get. . . call your mother more. Because you'll regret it if you don't one day."
Thanks dad. . . you really were a true and beloved friend.
Thank you all for stopping by!
Soon again. . .
nicolas
I cannot imagine who I would have turned out to be if he were a directive force in my developing years. . . but people change.
We reconnected when my grandmother, his mother, died when I was 19. Slowly, we built the strands of connection after he accepted my plea that, "I don't need you to be dad anymore. . I need a friend."
And a very good friend he turned out to be.
So that day, as I recounted all that was going on in my life, how I was pursuing my love of music-making and music production for others. How I was thriving owning a coffeehouse and creating digital art and poetry. (this is all about 5 years before my creative life as you see it now even began)
He listened quietly and patiently and then, when I had finished, he offered the following.
"Son, I've never told you this but I wish I had lived (he was 61 at the time) my life more like you. I would do it differently now but back then I always was so concerned with climbing the ladder of success and making more money and having better this and better that. There are so many things I thought to do but did not have the courage or the inner strength to try. And I see you, living your life this way and your voice is filled with joy and I feel every new experience brings you closer to something bigger. Maybe even closer to a sense of "purpose"? "
"But I am going to give you one piece of advice" he continued. "From here, the choices in your life will get tougher because you are still seeking and yet you have managed to eliminate all of the things people usually fill their lives with that are less than fulfilling. You love your job. You love where you live and you love the people around you. You have several creative outlets that take up every moment of your free time. . . and I know you, my son. You are going to keep finding things that you love and now? Now the choices are going to be between two or more things you love and where will they fit in when the days will always only be 24hrs long? And you don't do anything half assed. . . so where is the time going to come from and when those new "right things" present themselves? Because one of them may be "it". So remember that you'll have to make room for them. And that it is ok to let go of something you love as much as something you don't.
Oh, how right he was.
So the last 6 months as I've "struggled" with the lack of time that being a full time, all the time, maker-of-things requires and found myself overloaded with custom orders and requests as all the while the new ideas pile up and up and I cannot tend to them, And then, beneathe it all, this "new thing". . . this sense of something greater being right there all along. . . oh yes, it reared it's head and asked to be heard.
I once again took stock.
Made lists and looked deep within for the answer to what stays and what goes. . .
And here is what has changed from that kid who got that piece of advice 10 years ago.
The "new thing" is that I DO feel a sense of purpose in what I do now. It's the one thing I have done in my life (and I have done and tried more than my share) that feels really close to perfect and complete as far as being part of the thread I have known since childhood.
But these days I feel pulled to leave something behind. Something more than just bits and pieces and assorted lovelies. . . though those are as much a part of the "purpose" as what I have planned
My father was right,
I do not do anything half-assed. I don't know how. The details are everything and no matter how much I love something I make, I find myself looking to make it better and just a bit more innovative next time around. Good enough is never good enough even if I am the only one who sees it.
In truth, when people ask me for advice on making it with an online shop or with creative self employment, I usually include this one little piece of advice. What ever you do today, you can do better tomorrow and you have to want that, without fail, first and foremost or you'll not get far in the creative world.
First, you have to make room for it. . . and it requires lots of room.
Then, YOU have to
Grow
Change
Innovate
Reinvent
and
REACH
It's time now for me to reach. . .
I am setting a larger goal with the worlds I create.
They have been these lovely bits and pieces with little stories (also a must in the creative world I think. . tell a story!) that often are there before the pieces themselves.
But I want to bring them together and give something more through them.
A larger story that ties many of the smaller pieces together.
A world that is tangible and ever growing.
In my head, they always were this but, if I have one shortfall, it's that I often do not have the patience to write in such broad scope AND detail. I offer little detailed glimpses when an entire world is right there waiting to be brought to life.
And that world is what I want to leave behind. . .hopefully to inspire others as I have ben inspired by those that came before.
So this is what I have been doing the last month. Losing myself in reading about ancient civilizations, myths and stories I have loved my whole life and making notes, creating names, filling in gaps in my own stories and letting that world emerge. . . one village, one character, one myth at a time and, as is my way, the details sometimes come out first.
These are a couple of Elvin "reliquaries" I created this week that are just 1.5 and 2.75 inches tall. . . . perhaps containing mythic dragon scales or bits of ancient magic cloth, or a troll's tooth. . . or a thread of pure spun gold from time before time? Who can say?
What would YOU imagine to be found within an Elvin Reliquary?
More on their story in future posts. . .
Which is where the blog fits in with my future plans.
So many bits and pieces to keep track of and I am not an organized person by any means. So I will be posting more often and shorter posts with just that. . . bits and pieces of the larger story. . . threads that are all being woven into the larger world of my imagination. . . into the world of Bewilder and Pine. . . I hope you'll come along with me on this journey. It's going to be an adventure, I promise! :)
And my father, on that day I referred to earlier, added one more thing at the very end of the conversation that I took to heart then and still do to this day.
"No matter how busy you get. . . call your mother more. Because you'll regret it if you don't one day."
Thanks dad. . . you really were a true and beloved friend.
Thank you all for stopping by!
Soon again. . .
nicolas
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