Friday, October 20, 2017

Making of a Maker - Third Friday Post - October 20th

The Road to Here


If there is one thing I have wanted to share most from my experiences in life, it is how I became a maker of things. And by that, I mean the long road to "here". From those first inspirations and indulgences as a child to the present moment.

This weekly third Friday post will focus on exactly that.  And maybe even exploring side-roads to talk about what and where "here" is exactly, since it is always changing. 

If there is one thing I want to put across right off, it's that what I offer here is just ONE individual's perspective on how it can be achieved. I cannot even be sure I see it clearly in retrospect. I can only talk about the beginnings, the course changes, the bits of luck, inspirations and decisions that led to here and now.

I do NOT think my way is the right way for even a good chunk of folks who want to be artists or indulge in creativity full time. What my path is, is one more viewpoint that perhaps you can take something from it all and go forward with it in your own pursuit of becoming the working artist you want to be. 



So where to begin? 


How about this, I believe you can reinvent yourself time and again ( I certainly have) but what I've come to learn, all thee years later, is that you have to embrace, or at least make peace, with who you are inherently. Where you come from. What "made" YOU.  


You don't have to live in and with it every day if it was, as it sometimes can be, negative or shadowy, but I think that you do have to give it more than just a nod of acknowledgement. 

How many times have we all seen that artist's statement, written in the third person, that just doesn't tell you anything about the artist at all? Oh, it's a list and who's who of degrees, schools and mentors to be sure. But then you turn and what you see on the paper or canvas or in three dimensions doesn't seem to have anything to do with that at all. I see that less and less, of course, and I'm happy that we seem to be moving beyond that as a whole in our world. I don't care where you went to school, where you reside, how long you've been drawing those concentric circles etc. . . I care about where you came FROM. What inspires you now and what did then. Who you are inherently and how that is honored today in your life. 


I came across a "modern artist" who was quick to tell you, in third person, about walking the same streets of Europe that the masters did and sitting at Van Gogh's cafes, living abroad. . .  but who was a midwest farm kid by birth. I never met that particular artist but I am guessing that no matter how they cover it or try to rearrange the parts, the farm-kid's spirit and essence is still there in everything they do and all that they are. Yet it seemed they were trying so hard to separate themselves from it. I know because I did that for years too. But now I'd say it's important to embrace it. You can reinvent yourself and still honor and pay homage to those beginnings. 

I say that because for me, going back to that origin, creatively, became a huge part of my road to here. Childhood imagination. The same one I used to escape school bullies and that filled the many hours I had alone in my room as a kid, was still there waiting for me when I ran out of "adult artist" costumes to try on.  


Keep in mind that before I came to this realization, I DID create sooooo much. I performed the music I wrote on stages, had gallery shows and was part of collective exhibitions here and there. 


What Interested me then was making something from nothing. Even in those childhood, neighborhood sports-playing days we were always making due with less. Less players, less equipment, less than ideal places to play. Gravel instead of grass, slanted side streets instead of level lots. . . sharing gloves and bats, hoping someone brought a decent ball. . . but regardless, we played just the same.


Outside of sports, which was never a full time interest, my attention was put into to creating worlds. With action figures, costumes, props etc a few of us spent entire days lost in scenarios from space exploration to digging out of post apocalyptic ruins, to medieval knights. Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Lost in Space, Planet of the Apes and so on.  Strangely enough, though it was becoming quite the thing and I was aware of it, I never got involved in role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons in those years.
We were, perhaps, the last of the "outdoor" generation of kids. Even on the worst of days weather wise, we spent as much time outside as we could. I mean, when else were we going to be able to pretend we were on that snowy, ice planet of Hoth other than when we were slogging around in the midst of a 12 inch snowfall with gusting 40mph winds! 
But I've discovered the amazing worlds of Role Playing Games as an adult and I can see the parallels between the experience we had in our outdoor imagination-born adventures and role playing in the tabletop gaming world. 


Paul Lafarge, an essayist, author and long time D&D player and enthusiast, writes how gaming is like reading a book:  


"You start outside something (Middle Earth; Dickens’s London; the fascinating world of mosses and lichens), and you go in, bit by bit. You forget where you are, what time it is, and what you were doing. Along the way, you may have occasion to think, to doubt, or even to learn. Then you come back; your work has piled up; it’s past your bedtime; people may wonder what you have been doing. In a society that conditions people to compete, and rewards those who compete successfully, Dungeons & Dragons is countercultural; its project, when you think about it in these terms, is almost utopian. Show people how to have a good time, a mind-blowing, life-changing, all-night-long good time, by cooperating with each other! And perhaps D&D is socially unacceptable because it encourages its players to drop out of the world of competition, in which the popular people win, and to tune in to another world, where things work differently, and everyone wins together."

As we grew a bit older, reaching 'tween years, that small group of us who relied on imagination separated further from the sports playing kids just as the reached that peak competitive phase. My social/play group dwindled to three and, often times, it might just be two.  

Of course, the advantage I had over even the D&D kids was that I didn't need a group to have my most memorable fun. The worlds that I explored individually in my alone time, and there was an abundance of it, were the best. Still, to this day, I can recall the games, the characters, the little places in my mind that I would return to again and again. 





So lets lay the groundwork for this Third Friday post series like this:


I am a product of many events, circumstances and actions. Like all of us, I made choices, took roads that were more or less traveled and, at times, had to double back to find my way forward again. But in the midst of all of that, there has been a firm, foundational knowledge that the world around me is a magical place. A place of possibility. And that the world we experience and see is just a fraction of what is out there for us.

When that world around me became less than magical, I changed it. When the people around me became less supportive, too destructive or just got too caught up in their own version of the real, adult world, often meaning they gave up on their own dreams and creativity, I left them behind. When the places I've lived became less than magical, I've moved. And I'm aware how that could seem like I am running from something but, in truth, I am protecting something deeper. 


And I'd say the greatest lesson I learned was to treat your creativity like a gift of creation itself. I have come to think that our creative pursuits should be treated much like having a child (or kittens, baby birds, puppies. . . whatever you prefer) Your idea for a creative life is born or hatched as the case may be. . . And it needs your attention, care and, especially early on in it's infancy and development, your nurturing and protection from certain influences and experiences. You wouldn't turn your child over to just anyone to "rear and raise", and you wouldn't take just anyone's advice about how to raise them. . . so treat your creative work the same way. It's your dream, your pursuit, your passion. Your child. 


It most certainly can be harmed by the wrong hands, the wrong mouths, the wrong hearts. 

And, most of all, what parent out there would tell you their life didn't change drastically when their child was born or, to a lesser degree, when a new pet came into the house. We rearrange our lives to take care of them, yes? You put aside many of your other pleasures and indulgences to be there for it at all times, right? 


Then that is how you should approach your creative notions too.  


Ultimately, if you are really going to develop the creative soul you wish to bring forth. Even the idea of "success", of making a living from it, is just another point on the map, and the map we draft is a lifelong pursuit of putting beauty, whimsy, color, imagination, words, imagery, ideas and thoughts. . . even utilitarian items. . .  into our world. 


I make a living at what I do. I work harder than I have at anything else in my life. More hours. Like a small child, it's not something I can put away at 5pm, turn off the lights and go home. Since I reached that goal, I've come to realize that it's just another rung of the entire ladder of my life's journey. I want to evolve and grow with it. Whether I can make MORE money from it is immaterial because I know i can adapt and change MY life to suit it. 


To close this first installment of the Making of a Maker, there is a poem I adore that I actually was first shown by my Zen teacher. She thought it was perfect for me then because at the time, as I tended to from time to time, I was struggling with these same issues of the making and care of a creative life. To this day, some 15 years later, it remains one of my favorite poems and I think that it sums up the creative soul, the maker, that dwells in all of us so well. 




The Way It Is
William Stafford

There’s a thread you follow. 
It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.





Thank you for reading, following and commenting! 
Keep MAKING!!!!!

Nicolas XO

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Beginning in October of 2017 I started to follow the following format for my blog, posting every Friday and under the following headings:


1st Friday of Each Month - New work ( New to the shops and a look at the making of one item each month)

2nd Fridays - Inspirations and Oddities (Links and thoughts about what inspires me) 

3rd Fridays - The Making of a Maker (advice and shared experiences of how I got "here" to where this is my full time job.)

4th Fridays - The World of Bewilder and Pine ( peeks into the world of the Bewildering Pine, the stories and books to follow and all around fantasy world making)

18 comments:

  1. As usual, there is so much here to really hear and digest, I think it will take a few visits to grasp it all. My path is already so very different from yours in many ways... where you left, I stayed. I stayed in a small uncreative town, I stayed with the same man for 40 years, but of course I realize that is not the part that matters and that that doesn't mean the end result can't be the same creative life. The next part I CAN relate to...I do feel connected to all that "made me" and to my childhood imagination. Well , I had to stop and think if that was really true. What was it I was drawn to as s child? And yes turns out it is almost the same as now! Kaleidoscopes then, now mandalas, and prisms, light, rainbows, rivers and lakes and nature, herbs and quilting and fabric, much of this instilled in me by a creative mother, (although she doesn't paint.) thank you for the idea to ponder... it is funny to see how much is the same!

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  2. Andrea, I loved hearing about your threads from childhood. Yes! They clearly are there for you as well. :) For me it was my grandmother who was the creative influence though I never saw that til much later in life. And I will say that I missed much of the experience of staying put. My cousin who is a few years younger than me still lives in the same neighborhood, right next door to my mother actually, and when I visit it is painfully clear that my path came at the expense of other possible experiences and depths, as any path taken will. That's why no one path can be the "right" way. They are all just the one we walk/walked and I believe it is our responsibility to acknowledge it, own it and then shape it into today. :)

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  3. Love, Love, Love this post Nicolas!!! I understand and can relate to everything you are saying! A very touching and meaningful post! I love the poem too! Someday, I will have my own place, that I can stay up till 2:00am painting! LOL! Big Crow Hugs!

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    1. Thank you Stacy! I KNOW You will have your late night painting days. . . just a matter of time!! Big Crow HUGS!

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  4. Oh what beautiful thoughts so delightfully conveyed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and origins. Your words and the poem are very moving, I enjoy your posts so much. Thank you also for the kind words on my blog.

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    1. Lisa, thank you so much for dropping by! I appreciate your kind words here as well! Your art work is truly part of who you are. . .I see it in every drawing. :)

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  5. I'm so glad to have stopped by here. I relish always in your lengthy posts, please never stop writing them. And when you finish your book, I'll own a copy :) Thank you for sharing your gifts with us and the world Nicolas. You are a wise creative soul. X

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    1. Louise, it is always such joy to have you come by and to know that you do enjoy my lengthy rambles. : ) And no, I won't stop. In fact, that's why I set up the new weekly Friday posts to encourage myself to offer more here on a regular basis. :) So far so good! Thank you again for always being so supportive and kind.

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  6. What a wonderful post, Nicolas. It must have taken a lot of time and emotional energy to sit and share this with the world around you. Look at you...all you've been through and where you're at now. I LOVE what you said - "I believe you can reinvent yourself time and again..." - it's true and I feel like I've been discovering that this past year with all of the transitions going on in our life.

    You mentioned childhood imagination....I don't feel like I had much of that. Maybe a little when I spent time at my grandma's house (father's mom) as I loved it there and felt SO safe. I'm not sure you know but I sadly, grew up in a very abusive home...was abused a lot, so most of my "dreams" were praying for a way out of that and one day, growing up to give to children around me a hope and joy I never had most of my life.

    Anyway, thank you very much for sharing this. I love your creative heart and the desire to encourage others around you in your journey. x

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    1. Hi Alexandra! I am so honored you commented and shared this here. Thank you! I hope, above all else, that my words always come across clearly as just being a single and solitary viewpoint and not a preaching diatribe. lol

      I can see, in your world, in your expressions and in your recollections, how you've redefined the thread. There is such hope and possibility that thrives in your art! I've always seen it but, no, I did not know of your childhood experiences. I am truly sorry that you had to go through that.

      Here's one thing I do want to say. This: "one day, growing up to give to children around me a hope and joy I never had most of my life." is as wonderful of a thread to hold to as any I can imagine. And you DO that now, your art is filled with joy and hope and possibility. . . and you will continue to do so, I am sure, for all the days remaining.

      Thank YOU!

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    2. Nicolas, I jsut read this to Alexandra as for some reason she did not get a notification you had replied and you really touched her heart there as she said with "such a nice comment."

      While Alexandra was abused by many family members, she was later abused by a horrible ex (who years later is now in prison from abusing someone else) and b/c of her abuse she was never able to have children of her own (put on the pill at 11 does that) and to to this day suffers from all the things from her early 30's down.It affects her health, digetsion, ears, liver, and so on. But, you know what, she has a faith that makes her shine through. she truly is someone who has overcome and is not defined by her past...t ods not hold her back that is and she is not bitter but learned forgiveness and to move on. now, 18 yers later she is beginning to see new health gorw in her family for the very first time and even connected with two siblings (older than her) she always knew of but never met until they found their mom 52 years later (kidnapped).

      The stores I could tell of her life would blow you or anyone away--having experienced every evil in the book. No wonder one of her brothers took the "easy" way out of drugs and alcohol to drown the pain and lives homeless in cali now for decades. Alex is truly one incredible woman and joy giver. You are so right--her art emanates joy and that heart for others through the love of God, if you will.

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  7. There is so much here, Nicolas. I don;t know where to begin! One of my favourite posts of yours and something I could so relate to in many ways. Unlike you though, I was NEVER in to sports-- always found it futile and like you though, spent so much of my upbringing in a world of my own imagination. We had to! We were rather poor! ha.

    Regarding artist's statements-- sooo true! I feel exactly the same way. Don't tell me about your clinical stuff, tell me "where you came FROM. What inspires you now and what did then. Who you are inherently and how that is honored today in your life." -Exactly.

    There are so many other things you wrote on above I want to comment on but being distracted with things here, and stopping for a while to come back 40 mins later, I've forgotten some of them! Oh no! From a readers' perspective it woudl be great if you coudl write everything down as the creative muse hit but then break it up into installments more frequently so we can digest each piece more adn write more thorough comments on those. Just my perspective though. you have so much good stuff to share that I am sorry if I miss something later from so much to capture in one sitting.

    Anyway, I love waht you say about the creative thread. I think that shows jsut how much you are truly an artist through adn through, whether that is shown in writing, sculpting, music or what have you. And whilst I am definitely creative adn very right brained, as all studies indicate, I am not truly an artist -- don't ever call myself one either. Rather, I am definitely more a designer, and to me, there is a difference. I don;t have a need or yearning to create. I simply do it becasue I have imagination and want to remain creative but much of my creativity is channeled instinctively from my gut from year of working as a designer. It;s job. Thus why I illustrate so I can tap also into that more hands on artistry and capture more that child like wonder. You, my friend, have all that and more! :)

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  8. I look forward to your next "Making of a Maker" installment!

    Sorry for any typos - typing is not my strong point, sorry to say. I type way too fast for my abilities.

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  9. Ooh, I just remembered one more thing I wanted to ask you: I'm guessing you like/d "Stranger Things," right? And I would imagine you would have loved the re-imagined BSG, did you? I know I did!

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    1. Of all these wonderful comments, I will begin here: YES, I ADORE "Stranger Things". From the very first episode, the D&D scene, the 80's music and sets, I was hooked. And you would be spot on to say that I not only liked, but was completely consumed by, the re-imagined BSG. :) I was one of those " lover of the original" defenders who wouldn't give it a chance at first, and I did not have a TV when it as actually airing. Then I found out Edward James Olmos was Adama and thought,"Oh. . . if he's playing that role, it's probably ok!" yeah, "ok". lol

      All of it, the reimagined role of Starbuck, the cloned Cylons, Gaius Baltar and Col. Tigh, the cinematography, the spiritual tinges. . . it all just blew me away. On of my favorite little things was having Lucy Lawless play one of the cylons. (her portrayal of Xena will always have a spot in my heart.)

      Did you, by any chance, love the original Planet of the Apes movies/TV show growing up? To me, just the thought of Roddy McDowell's voice as Cornelius, Galen, Caesar etc, is always like a direct line to that time of my life.

      And to hit a few points above. . . I am trying hard to figure out a way to scale down some of these thoughts. I think it is just that they have been waiting for their moment for so long that I get carried away and most of what you read does come pretty stream of conscious. Time to edit? Not so much. . . . lol

      I am hoping the weekly posts will help with that. Of course, I am in "novel writing mode" right now so brevity is not really on the current radar. : )

      I SO appreciate your input and thank you for sharing the above about both Alex and you. I will take the time to comment separately on that wonderful reply in the coming day!

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    2. Sounds good, Nicolas. Right back at you--hee. now you have the "pressure" to reply to my own long comments...not that there is any rue pressure either way but I do love the conversations.

      Hah, I have to laugh as the BSG comment you made as I too was a total defender of the original but so glad I gave BSG a chance. It remains, my fave TV show of all times for all the depth and themes it touched upon about what is reality, etc. I loved it. Did you ever feel, as we did, that Gaius Baltar as he looked there woudl have been the perfect Dr. Who?

      Haha, both Alex and I loved the oringal PAlent of the Apes and McDowell and we LOVE the new remained trilogy. The only movie we've seen at the cinema this year in fact.

      OK, look forward to reading your other replies as you're able to find the time.

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